


The Quiet Of The Storm

by daisy_yhb



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fae, F/F, Fae & Fairies, Fae Magic, Magic, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Original Universe, Other, fae, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27176773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisy_yhb/pseuds/daisy_yhb
Summary: Keep in mind that english is not my first language. I'll do my best, but don't expect something spectacularly written.I'm a university student and I also own a small business so I don't have much free time, which means I will update this story very slowly. I hope you won't lose interest in it.
Kudos: 8





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Keep in mind that english is not my first language. I'll do my best, but don't expect something spectacularly written.  
> I'm a university student and I also own a small business so I don't have much free time, which means I will update this story very slowly. I hope you won't lose interest in it.

One day, I would be queen. That’s what I’ve been told ever since I could remember. Every single moment in my life has been filled with studying and training and any kind of preparation to make sure I was ready for when the time came.

I’ve read history books, trying to not get too consumed by my own anger every time the King’s name was mentioned. I’ve learned to fight and kill with my bare hands and with every weapon I could possibly lay my eyes on. I’ve learned as many languages as Lady Odiane could teach, and learned the manners and customs of our kingdom, as well as those of the kingdoms that confined with it.

But despite all of this, in the eighteen years of my life I had actually never seen my future kingdom.

Lady Odiane once told me that the lights at the royal castle were always on during the night, and from time to time I found myself staying up till late just to climb on the roof of the house and look for the bright orange-ish lights I always expected to see.But from our position deep in the forest of the mountain, it was hard to see anything of the capital, especially the castle, despite it being rumored to be huge.

I was never allowed to leave the house, but sometimes I sneaked out and walked to the nearest village, just to see the people walk in the streets, the old ladies buying from the market or the kids playing in the gardens. Seeing the life in the village had always made me feel warm and nostalgic inside, but the feeling was always replaced by anger as soon as I noticed how desperate those ladies were when they asked the owner of the stalls to lower their prices for them. Or when I noticed the torn and dirty clothes on the kids.

Lady Odiane often told me that there were so many villages like this one, even more that one could possibly count, but that the King didn’t care about anyone but himself. As long as his life in the castle was wealthy and comfortable, he was content. I knew his blood ran in my veins and even if I had no blame for that, the knowledge always made me feel disgusted with myself.

Lady Odiane had never told me when it would be time for me to go, but one day I noticed the change in the air and knew it had come. I felt an electric wave in my veins as I looked outside the window and watched the world, oblivious to the changes that would soon engulf it all. When I walked downstairs, I found Odiane in the kitchen putting food into boxes. I didn’t know if I felt more nervous or excited, as I noticed the confirmation that I had to go.

“The horse is ready.” she said, not even looking at me as she put the boxes in a bag and tied the ends together.

She walked to me and put a hand on my back, gently guiding me to the door. When we stepped outside I noticed the horse tied to the fence, eating the grass around it. She tied the bags to the saddle, then took out a dagger from behind her dress and handed it to me.

“You can’t bring your own weapons into the capital, but if you hide this on your body, no one will check for it.”

I took it and hid it in the strap that I always wore around my thigh. When I lowered down my dress and looked up at her, Odiane’s eyes were teary.

“Am I really ready?” I asked in a whisper, before I could ever realize it.

“You will be,” she said “You _have_ to be.”

I sighed, nodding, and got on my horse.

“There is someone waiting for you at the castle. He’s the son of a friend of mine.” Odiane said, taking my hand in hers “He will tell you everything you need to know about the castle and the people that live in it. If you ever need help, you can ask him.”

Then, she took a letter out of her pocket and handed it to me. It was the signed enrollment papers to train in the royal army — my disguise to enter and live in the palace.

“For your mother.” she said, squeezing my hand one last time.

“For the kingdom.” I replied.

She stepped back and I gave one last glance to the house that had been my home for the past eighteen years. I kicked the horse with my heel and finally started moving. The journey was going to take some weeks, and as I was riding the horse through the forest, I realized that my life was actually about to begin.


	2. chapter one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any mistake >_<

I knew I was about to enter Telshore without having to look at the map. It wasn’t the fact that I’ve been traveling for weeks that tipped me off, but the salty scent in the air signaling that I was indeed near the sea. The one big street that went directly towards the main entrance of the city was a long straight line in the middle of nowhere. There was grass, and bushes, but no trees nor houses. It felt as desolated as a desert, and the fact that it was still green made it look even sadder.

Since there was nothing around, I could see the big ancient arc from miles away. Thinking about my excitement for entering the capital for the first time helped me keep the bad and anxious thoughts out.

Back in my house in Mount Larker there wasn’t much to do except train and study, and the only person I ever talked to was Lady Odiane and sometimes the other lady— whose name I never knew— who came by to bring us food and other supplies. The times I sneaked out to visit the village nearby, I never actually talked to anyone.

I had to admit that the lack of interactions in my life made me nervous. I was going to a foreign place, full of people whom I had to deceive. All the training I’ve done couldn’t have really prepared me for this. I pushed the thought in the back of my mind. No matter how scared or anxious I was, failure wasn’t an option.

I slowed the pace of my horse and calmly stared ahead, where the two guard at the arc’s feet looked at me. It wasn’t like they could watch anything else, in this desert street, but their stare made my blood boil. They worked for the king. They took orders directly from him. They obeyed him blindly. They probably really believed in him and his ideals.

When I stopped in front of them, I had to keep a leash on my temper.

“Name and reason to enter” the man on the right demanded, in an annoyed tone.

“Faye Elwood,” I replied, then I handed him the letter “I’m here to join the training for the army.”

The other guard walked closed and peeked from his shoulder to check the letter with him. Once they realized that the royal stamp of confirmation was real, they closed the letter and handed it back.

“Which way for the castle?” I asked.

“It’s really not that difficult to find the big stone palace” the guard on the left replied.

Realizing that was how they dismissed me, I forced my mouth shut and hit my heel on the horse’s back. I didn’t look at neither of them while I passed by, but the gods knew the variety of curses and swear words that passed through my head in that moment. If those were the kind of people that lived in this city… I didn’t know how I was going to hold back from killing someone for being a smart ass.

The street to arrive here might have been naked, but as soon as I stepped on the other side of the arc I noticed it was full of trees. The lack of trees on the outside was probably a choice. Maybe the king was so paranoid that he wanted to be able to notice possible enemies when they were still far, far away. I hoped he didn’t take the same precautions for the enemies from _inside_ his city.

After the initial path in the forest, the street opened in a city full of life and people. On either side, it was full of houses and shops. Some people were just walking around, others were going in and out of shops with clear intentions of spending money and having fun.

In one of my history books, I once read that the continent was once full of humans, but when the Faes arrived thousand years ago, they took everything for themselves and spared only a few. In other continents humans lived normal lives side by side with Faes —where they sometimes even were a minority, due to the mixed couples and demi-Faes children born from the unions— but in this one humans weren’t treated as such. Most of the humans here lived in small cities around the countries, but a few where in the capital as well. They were considered lowly being and could only work as servants or slaves. Only a few rich human families were allowed the honor to keep their lives, have a home and have respectable jobs, but they were still looked at with disgust and treated poorly by the Faes.

I dismounted my horse and took the reins, starting to walk with it following me. People eyed me curiously, but I looked at them and the things around me with even more joyful curiosity in my eyes. Everything was so different from the poor villages of the mountains. I thought I would be angry once I saw the capital, but my first feeling was surprise. I was fascinated by the luxury and the crowds of people. A small part of my brain was screaming at me for feeling this way, but I pushed it back. I felt guilty, but I still told myself I could feel like this for a couple more minutes. I had spent my life in isolation in Mount Larker, after all. Once my mission is over, I’ll have all the time and opportunities to fix what the King did with _my_ kingdom.

The smell of meat and spices came over me like a tsunami as soon as I entered the restaurant quarters. I couldn’t help smiling.

“Miss, come here! Try this!” and old lady yelled my way.

I didn’t feel like being rude to her, so instead of ignoring or dismissing her, I walked closer to her stand. She took a stick from the table and put her hands in a big pot, then she offered me the stick with a reddish meatball on it.

“It seems delicious, but I don’t have money,” I lied, trying to look apologetic.

“It’s on the house,” she replied, cheerfully.

I smiled back at her kindness and took the stick. The meatball was spicy and mixed with some kind of vegetable. Neither the vegetable nor the meat tasted like anything I had ever tried, but they were tasty nonetheless.

“It’s great,” I told her.

“I’m glad you think so,” she replied “It’s a family recipe.”

She eyed me and then the horse behind me.

“Are you here for the enlistment?” she asked, curious.

“Yes,” I said “Did many people come?”

“Around a couple hundred young folks, but they stopped arriving a couple days ago.”

“I guess I’m a bit late,” I said, embarrassed.

Twice a year the palace offered its walls to train new recruits for the royal army. People from all over the continent enlisted to honor the king, and were trained only by the most important and skilled generals.

Most think that the people who come here are volunteers, but I knew the truth. There was a minimum number of people that every country was forced to send into the army, and the punishment for disobeying was hard and bloody. The only real choice was on _who_ to send.

“The training hasn’t started yet, don’t worry sweetheart,” the lady replied.

She was such a sweet woman and I wondered if other people in the city were as kind as her. I thanked her again for the meatball and said goodbye, resuming my walk towards the castle. The streets became narrower and the people were scarcer the closer I got to the palace. The guards in the streets, instead, doubled. They were all abnormally large males. I knew the army had many female knights, especially in high ranks. This choice of guards outside the palace streets only made me think that it was a way of intimidating whoever passed by. A nice try, but probably not that efficient. If someone came here with bad intents, they surely weren’t going to feel put off by the sight of a dozen tall and muscled men. I surely wasn’t.

I saw the large gate before I even noticed the even bigger palace behind it. The gate was all covered in pure gold, and its bars were designed to look like vines, branches and leaves. The palace was so large that I couldn’t even fit a third of it in my vision. It was made of stone, with large stained windows all over it. A couple towers could be seen from that side, but I was sure there were more that were currently impossible for me to notice from where I was standing. The palace could probably fit an entire army, if not more.

I showed my documents to the guards at the entrance, but I couldn’t care less about them, as I kept staring at the castle. When they gave me back my papers, they opened the gates and I finally walked inside the castle grounds. _My_ grounds.

A human servant ran to me and took the reins of my horse before I could even speak.

“I’ll bring your belongings to your room,” she quickly said, then she turned around and walked away dragging my horse behind her.

It took me a few seconds to unfreeze from the surprise. I shook my head and relaxed, looking for the entrance. This time, the guard at the door didn’t even ask for my documents. Apparently, if I managed to arrive there, it meant I had been thoroughly checked and that I wasn’t a threat. _Fools_.

The floors were entirely covered in red carpets and the walls were surprisingly naked, if not for the few torches illuminating the corridors. Before I could ask myself why there was no one around, another servant appeared next to me. I slightly flinched for the surprise. _Why were all the servants so fast and silent?_

“May I know your name?” the boy asked, looking down at his feet.

“Faye Elwood.”

“Are you one of the new recruits?”

“Yes."

“You’re on the wrong wing of the palace then,” he said, then he started walking “Please follow me.”

I almost had to start running to be able to catch up to him. We walked in silence for so long that I wondered if the place was infinite. We turned corners and changed corridors many times, but everything looked exactly the same. I confirmed that the palace wasn’t entirely desert only when I passed by an open door and saw a boy leaning on a pool table. Our eyes briefly met before I walked past, but once I was at the end of the of the corridor I could feel his eyes on me. I didn’t turn around to confirm it, but I knew he was standing outside the door.

I followed the servant for another couple of corridors, then he stopped in front of a door.

“This is your room,” he said, still not looking up from the floor. I frowned, uncomfortable. I wondered if his submissiveness was specifically his, or if all servants were forced to act like this with everyone.

“The training starts tomorrow,” he said, then added “If you have any question or need, please don’t hesitate to come find me or any other servant who may catch your interest.”

He turned around and walked away before I could even ask him how, or _where_ , I could find anyone around here. I sighed in defeat and entered the room. The place was huge, a king sized bed with blood red sheets was at the center of the room, next to a wall window connected to a balcony. On the right side of the room there was a big table and a wardrobe. On the left side, there was a fireplace with a couch and a sofa in front of it. I walked to the door near the windows and opened it to find my personal bathing chamber. It was as simple as a chamber in a castle could ever be. Everything looked fine, but the lack of paintings in both the room and corridors unsettled me a bit.

While I walked around the room, the door opened and the servant who took my horse at the entrance came in carrying my only bag. She put it on the table and opened it, taking my clothes out to put them in the wardrobe.

“I can do that myself,” I said, stepping to take the bag from her hands. I didn’t have anything compromising in it, but I wasn’t used to people going through my things and I wasn’t going to start getting used to it _now_.

“Of course,” she responded, quickly stepping back.

She made to the door, but I stopped her by asking, “where can I find you if I need you?”

“There is a servant room at the end of every corridor. It’s the red door.”

Oh, that was what it was. I noticed all the doors were normal brown wood but there was always one painted red in every corridor.

“Am I allowed to walk around the palace?”

The girl looked troubled for a second, her eyes moving quickly around the floor.

“If you want to, please do so only during the day,” she said in the end.

I frowned, confused. She clearly didn’t want to tell me to stay locked in my room, but it was pretty evident that it wasn’t possible to walk freely around the palace, and possibly even the gardens. I hadn’t seen anyone around other than guards and a few servants. And that boy in the play room. I wondered why.

“You can go.”

She nodded a goodbye and turned around, basically fleeing from the room. I laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling, thinking. This place looked like a prison more than a palace. All the stories and books I read about the castle talked about life and parties. It was supposed to be a place where there were always people around, where it was impossible to find a moment of quiet, not the opposite. What happened to this place? Had the King become so old that he despised everything that lived inside his home? I lived in the quiet of the mountains all my life, but this type of quiet was unsettling. It wasn’t natural and it wasn’t _safe_.

My mission suddenly felt much harder than it initially was. It had always been only half planned because I was supposed to think of the rest alone, once I arrived here and saw what the actual situation was, but I foolishly thought this second partwould be the easiest one. I thought the difficult part was getting here.

The only thought that prevented me from having a break down was that I was not alone. Well, I was alone at the moment, but I _would_ _not_ be alone when I started the second part of the plan. The first step was to get into the training and get used to the palace rules. Then, I had to find the person Lady Odiane told me about. I had no idea what he looked like, what his name was, what his status was, where he could have been, or even his age. I only knew this person was a _he_ , but that little detail was as useless as it sounded. It could be _anyone_ in the palace.

 _Was he even staying in the palace?_ I asked myself.

But all of this would be a problem for tomorrow. I got up from the bed and walked to the windows, opening them. I stepped into the balcony and looked around. I could see a bit of the royal garden from where I was, and I made a mental note tomyself to go there tomorrow, since the sun was already setting and it was better if I didn’t start breaking the rules on my first hours in the palace.

Sighing in defeat, I walked back inside and started moving all my things to the wardrobe and the table. Hours later the servant girl walked in the room with a tray of food and quickly disappeared as soon as she put it down on the table. I ate every single thing on that tray, without even questioning or looking what kind of food it was. After weeks on the road, such an abundant meal was more than my brain could even process. Soon after, I felt the call of the bed, and passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.


	3. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any mistake >_<

Saying that I was anxious the next morning was an understatement. I put on the most comfortable clothes I had and picked at the breakfast that the servant brought in. When I couldn’t postpone it any longer, I left my room and ventured in the maze of the palace, trying to find the exit. Thankfully, many of the new recruits were trying to find the training room, thus I just followed the crowd of people.Everyone gathered outside in the gardens, and queued in two lines, while two knights told each of us to which group we belonged to and where we were supposed to go. After I was told my group number and the room my training was going to take place in, I was showed the way by a servant.

The training room was huge, with every sort of weapon— swords, bows, crossbows, wooden staffs, daggers, axes, _spiked chains_ — hanging on every wall.Many of those weapons I hadn’t the chance to try yet, and the thought excited me. All the recruits were standing next to each other forming a line by the wall apposite to the door. Some of them were silent, lost in their thoughts, others were quietly talking to the ones next to them. Apparently I was the last of my group to arrive. and everyone turned to look at me as I walked in, hopefully expecting to see a knight. I ignored their looks and the nervous knot in my stomach as I walked to the side, waiting with them in silence.

I felt a stare on me and turned to the left, locking eyes on the other side of the line with the same boy I noticed the day before in the play room. He was a boy with blue eyes, curly brown hair and golden brown skin. He couldn’t be much older than me, maybe one or two years. Faes were immortal beings and lived looking forever young, but I knew what the age limit for the new recruits was, so for this time I could safely say he wasn’t a hundred years old guy looking twenty. Even after he realized that I noticed him staring, he didn’t look away. I raised a brow in a silent, annoyed question, and he chuckled to himself, looking away.

The door opened again and two knights walked in, stopping in front of us. The guy was tall and looked strong and muscular despite not being too buff. His skin was tan and his features were sharp. His almond shaped eyes scanned everyone in the room with deadly precision. He wasn’t the type of beauty I usually liked, but I found myself admitting that he was very good looking.

The girl knight instead... she was breathtaking. She was tall, almost as tall as her colleague. Her eyes were light blue and the contrast between her dark skin and her long white hair was almost hypnotic. I had to force myself not to stare at her.

The only common traits between the two trainers, were the posture and the cold look on their faces. Both of them trained, beautiful, Fae warriors.

After scanning everyone carefully, they turned to the left end of our line and politely bowed their heads, saying “princes”, in greeting. I looked over and noticed it was directed to the boy that was staring at me, and the pale looking guy next to him. I stiffened unconsciously, realizing that some of the princes where in my training class. My _brothers_.

“My name is Alvara Delane and this is Takami Saito” the white-haired girl said “You will train every day under our supervision. We accept no slacking off and if we notice that you’re not making progress, you will be kicked out and sent back home without a second thought. Was I clear?”

Strict. I liked it.

“Yes, ma’am,” everyone said.

Those two had to be really good, if the king entrusted them with the training of two of his sons. Lucky for me to end up with them as well. It would be easier to keep an eye on them. A little part of me was excited to finally meet part of my family, even if we weren’t fully related. All of us had different mothers and we surely all had been brought up in different way. My upbringing was certainly different from theirs.

I looked up and met Alvara’s cold stare and realized that she had said something to the class and that she caught me not listening. _Way to go_.

“How about you show us what you can do?” she said, her tone hard. She looked like she was holding herself back from actually scolding me and the thought almost made me grin in satisfaction.

“What should I do?” I asked.

She turned to the rest of the class and said, “Anyone wants to spar with her?”

The curly haired boy— one of my brothers— took a step forward. “I’d like the honor.”

The other knight, Takami, walked to one of the weapon-covered walls and took two wooden staffs. He handed one to the prince, then one to me.

“No real swords?” I asked Alvara, faking disappointment.

“Do you even know how to use a sword?” she asked, in a dry tone.

“I do,” I replied, then looked at my step brother who was positioning himself in front of me, “Does the prince?”

He smirked at me, “the _prince_ wouldn’t want to hurt a classmate on the first day.”

“Rightly confident, or just arrogant?” I teased.

“Should we find out?”

“Enough with the chatter,” Takami interrupted, “Fight”.

I turned to my step brother and dramatically bowed, then gestured for him to go first. He chuckled softly and waited for me to get in position before he started moving. He took a step forward and I was almost caught off guard by how incredibly fast he had been, but I met his staff with mine, blocking the blow that would have hit me straight in the face. He grinned at me before taking a step back, as if to give me space to recollect myself.

“Are you done playing around?” I asked.

“I didn’t even start.”

He hadn’t even finished the sentence before he swung the staff again, aiming to my side this time. I took a step back and pushed his staff aside with mine. He did it a couple more times, his grin growing every time I blocked his staff. I could tell he had been training for years already, but he wasn’t trying to use any real skill in this fight. He didn’t have a plan or a goal, he wasn’t trying to tire me or make me attack him. He was _playing_ , and he was enjoying it like a child enjoyed eating candy.

I played along at first, but then the game started getting boring. I could’t show my real skills so I put all my efforts in trying to hold back. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t fight back.

He was surprised for a second when I attacked instead of waiting for him to strike again, but he still managed to block my staff. As he attacked me again, I sidestepped him and brought my staff to his back, making him stagger forward. He turned around and looked at me with surprise, but there was amusement behind it as well. Apparently that move was enough for him to decide to step up his game and his next moves were more precise and— if we were fighting with swords—probably deadly. The fight took a faster pace and we alternated attacks to defenses almost rhythmically.

The sparring had been going on for a while and I could almost feel the irritation coming from Alvara. It was time to put an end to it.

I started slowing down, making my moves sloppier, pretending to be getting tired. My brother struck again and I let his staff hit me on my side. He struck hard, so the pain on my face wasn’t entirely fake. I let him hit me another two times, and this time the blows were softer, as if he already knew he was going to hit me and didn’t want to actually hurt me.

“Stop,” Alvara ordered, making the boy stop in his tracks in a second.

“We can clearly see who won,” Tamaki said coldly. “That was enough show for today, you can go back in line.”

I quickly looked at the other trainees and studied their faces. I held back a sight of relief when I noticed none of them realized I was faking it. My brother spared me one last glance and for a second I noticed a flicker of worry in his eyes, before he turned around and went to stand in his previous spot. I gritted my teeth and walked back to my place as well. I hated doing this, but I knew it was necessary. I had to purposely lose, and I had to be fine with it.

The fight had been a punishment and a challenge for me because I spaced out during the lesson, but it wasn’t in the program of the day. The actual training started with Alvara and Takami showing us moves and explaining how to move our bodies. We spent the rest of the day training, following their moves and getting scolded and yelled at for every little detail. We didn’t have a lunch break and we only actually stopped once we couldn’t see the light outside the windows anymore. At the end of the day we were all breathless, me as well. I was used to training, but Lady Odiane always let me take breaks, often because _she_ needed them. I was grateful, thought, that the training here was this strict. I needed to improve and learn, and this was the most effective and fast way to do so.

Alvara and Takami, on the contrary, looked fresh, as if they just woke up from a restoring nap. They weren’t tired at all, and they probably could have gone on for longer than I could even imagine. They dismissed us with disappointed looks.

We all walked out of the class and moved together to the great hall that the King had let the recruits use to have dinner together. I sat down on the first seat I found, hungrily eyeing the buffet in front of me, and I started putting as much food as I could fit onto my plate. I didn’t even notice my brother taking a seat next to me until he started speaking.

“You’ll really eat all of that?” he asked, tone laced with both surprise and amusement.

“I’m starving,” I replied, before diving into my food.

He calmly and politely put a steak and some vegetable in his plate and started cutting it. The sight was exasperating and unnecessarily annoying. How could he have such manners even after training and starving all day?

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that you let me win,” he said, without looking up from his plate. Thankfully his tone was low so that no one else would hear.

“I couldn’t just beat your ass on the first day,” I replied shrugging, “what would be of your image then?”

I already suspected he noticed it during the fight. His moves after the first of his blows had hit the target were too calculated. For some reason, I didn’t feel the need to lie about it to his face.

“I’ll keep your secret,” he said, “only if you promise to fight me seriously one day.” He turned to me and grinned, “Now I’m too curious to know what you’re able to do.”

“I’m sure you’ll be disappointed,” I replied, “but I can’t deny a prince, can I?”

“You totally could, but I’d feel miserable at the rejection,” he said dramatically. I chuckled softly and a smug smile appeared on his face.

“May I know the name of the girl who saved my dignity?” he asked, with an eyebrow raised.

“Faye Elwood.”

“Elwood?,” he asked, curious. It was very common surname in the Fae community, and a perfect way to hide my identity in plain sight. But why did he look confused by it?

“May I know the name of the boy whose dignity I saved?” I asked in turn.

“Arion Rawleight, at your service,” he responded, dramatically faking a bow.

The sound of the surname stirred conflicting emotions in me. It reminded me of the father I hated with every cell of my body, but it also reminded me of the power I held. It was a symbol I wanted to be able to use freely.

“You arrived yesterday, didn’t you?” he asked.

It was most likely just a peaceful conversation, but his question still made me suspicious. I didn’t like people asking me about myself. Especially since I had to hide my real identity.

I wondered what he would say or do if he knew we were related. He probably wouldn’t be surprised to find out the King had another daughter— because apparently he had too many children with too many women— but he would undoubtedly be surprised to find out who my mother was. I knew the King’s children were constantly competing with each other from the moment they were born, but would he consider me a friend or an enemy?

His curious eyes brought me back from my overthinking, and made me realize he was still waiting for an answer.

“Yes, I arrived yesterday,” I said, “I’m still tired from the long journey. And from today’s training.”

I hoped it would be a good enough excuse to explain my spacing out. It seemed to reason with him, as he nodded to himself and kept eating. We continued our dinner in a strangely comfortable silence.

Arion seemed to be a good guy. If he turned out to be a threat, I would have to get rid of him too. I really hoped he would turn out to be a friend.

“I’m sorry to leave you, but I have to go,” he said, standing up “I’ll see you tomorrow at training.”

“See you tomorrow,” I responded.

He smiled one last time before he walked away. Soon after someone else dropped on Arion’s seat.

“You already have the prince’s attention.”

I turned my head to the girl sitting next to me, unamused with her presence and statement. I vaguely remembered seeing her in my class. She was currently rolling a strand of black hair with her finger, trying to pretend to be uninterested with what _clearly_ interested her enough to come at me for it. I was already tired and I didn’t want to deal with anyone, especially someone that gave off her kind of spoiled energy. Her sole presence was enough to annoy me.

“Do you want me to make warning signs to tell him to come to you instead?” I replied, calmly. “Honestly, I could’t care less about his attention. I’ll gladly tell him to turn it, and _waste it_ , on you.”

“Keep being a bitch, and see where that brings you,” she hissed.

She violently stood from the seat, almost knocking the chair backward. She glared at me as she stomped away. I sighed, shaking my head.

Putting my plate aside, I got up as well and started walking to my bedroom, eager to fall asleep. While walking thought the corridors I admired the royal garden and wondered when I’d have time to visit it. I didn’t even know if I could, actually, but I had to try at least once.

In my room, I barely changed into something comfortable and then crawled under the blankets. Only when my mind was drifting into the dream realm, I realized I still haven’t met the boy Odiane told me about. I didn’t have time to worry about it as I fell asleep right after.


	4. chapter three

Everything around me was dark.

It was as if my vision was clouded by a black, thick fog. I felt suffocated. I couldn’t understand where I was or what was happening. I tried to take a step forward, but even if I felt myself move, it didn’t make a difference. There was no sound, no smell, _nothing_.

To my horror, the fog became even thicker. I stood there still for a few seconds, forcing my brain to come up with a plan, _something_ to do to get me out of there.

A strange surge of energy busted behind me and I turned around fast enough to see a white-blue wave of power come crashing over me. I took a step back out of fear, but the wave just passed through me. I was about to sigh in relief that nothing happen, when I started feeling my body heat from the inside. I felt the spark of electricity start from my core and instantly wrap itself around my whole body. My skin felt like it was being torn apart, and I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came out. I fell to my knees on the ground and, panicking, I tried to take the electricity off of me with my hands, only scratching myself as a result.

“Stop!”

Even if the voice was mine, it came out from outside, from far away.

My eyes suddenly widened and my vision became white, blinding me.

༺༻

I gasped loudly, harshly gripping the sheets of the bed in my fists. I breathed heavily taking in the sigh of my bedroom. It was only a nightmare.

My whole body ached as I sat up, and I tried to tell myself that it was from the training of the previous day, but I looked at my hands and a few sparks of energy danced around my fingers, and I _knew_ that wasn’t entirely the case.

I shook my hands and the sparks completely disappeared. Unfortunately they didn’t bring my fear away with them. Was the nightmare only a projection of my fears, or was it a warning? It was a fact, that if I didn’t learn how to control the spark, it was going to turn on me, but the reality of the dream was even more horrific than I have ever imagined.

Since I entered Telshore I have felt the electricity crawling under my skin every second of the day. In Mount Larker I could only feel it when strong emotion surfaced, like when I was angry or scared, but here I felt constantly on edge.

It was common knowledge that Faes had sharper senses and could move faster than humans, but they were much more than that. Or at least, they were in the beginning. Almost all Faes used to have other powers as well. Some could heal, some could control the elements, some had the touch of death as their companions. Many were even able to shift into animals, but that specific gift only remained in the Fae nobles, who kept the purity of their lineage. Time passed and Faes bred with other species, humans included, and even if the healing powers were still being passed down from generation to generation— albeit still less than in the pass— every other power diluted until they completely disappeared. It had been centuries since the Faes had seen their last magic wielder.

I had no idea how I ended up with a power so old that even the Fae forgot about it. It was terrifying because there was no one who could help. I was scared to acknowledge what I could do, to other people and to myself. Not even Odiane knew about it, and if it had been difficult to hide it from her when we lived together, I wondered how I could hide it now, here, where it could start causing problems at any time, in any place.

The knock on the door teared me away from my anxious thoughts. I got up and opened the door, letting the servant girl in. I tried asking her name the day before, but she refused to tell me, saying that she was too low for me to call her by name. Her statement made my blood boil and I almost stormed out of my room to find the King in _that_ moment, just to punch him in the face for how he built his reign and its hierarchy.

She put the tray of food on the table and left the room again without speaking or even looking at me in the face. The first thing I’d do when I’m on the throne, will be rebuild all of this.

After breakfast I quickly washed and changed, and made my way to the training room. Arion walked out of a room as I walked past its door. There was something naturally and strangely elegant about him, as if every part of his body and behavior screamed ‘royalty’. He _was_ royalty. But I hadn’t expected to see it reflected in everything he did.

I stopped and looked at him. “You’re staying here?” I asked, confused.

He nodded, starting to walk and giving me a look as if to tell me to follow him. I fell into pace next to him.

“I thought all the royals lived together on the other wing of the palace.”  
“We do,” he replied “But since I had to train with other people, I thought living near them would be a good idea.”

“How noble of you,” I replied with sarcasm. He chuckled softly, shaking his head.

We walked side by side in silence. It was comfortable to be quiet around him. I didn’t think I would feel this way around my real family. I always thought I would hate them, or feel awkward. I told myself not to get used to this, or to his pleasant presence, but it was hard. I felt drawn to him.

“You’re not the only prince in our class,” I started, “what’s your brother’s name?”

He eyed me curiously. “Ambrose.”

I didn’t know how many siblings I had, nor their names. Odiane never knew all of them either, since we left the capital long before.

“He’s not as nice as me thought,” he said, grinning to himself, “be careful how you speak to him.”

“What do you mean? I’m always polite,” I replied with a smug smile, making him chuckle.

“Of course you are.”

When we entered the training class, Ambrose was already there and he was looking at us with a hard look on his face. Well, his sharp features already made him look hard, but he clearly looked at me like he couldn’t understand why I was breathing the same air as him. And he wasn’t the only one looking at me like that. In the corner of the room, the black haired girl from the night before was glaring at me. I smiled at her, in greeting. Arion left me to go stand next to his brother, and I went to stand where I stood they day before.

That day, only Alvara came to train us. We started with repeating some of the moves of the day before on our own, as she passed by and checked on us one by one. She lingered around me a few more seconds than she did with the others, and I knew she was trying to find something to correct me about, but my posture and moves were flawless. I winked at her, earning a glare in response as she walked past me.

I heard murmuring and turned around. The annoying black haired girl was vivaciously talking to the trainee next to her. And she looked very upset.

“What’s going on there?” Alvara asked. I grinned, already knowing I was about to see Alvara put the girl back in her place. She walked to them, and the girl stiffened, clearly scared but still too proud and stubborn to step back.

“I asked a question.”

“I want to be in that spot but he doesn’t want to move,” the girl said, avoiding eye contact. Alvara looked at the spot in question, then looked at Arion, who was standing next to the trainee that the girl was bothering. Alvara seemed to understand the situation and her stare hardened even more. She took a step forward, towering over the girl.

“First of all, Reeve made it clear we must refer to them as ‘they’,” she started, voice as cold as ice. “Second of all, you’re here to train in the army, not to woo the prince. If you’re going to waste our time you can gladly get out and never show your face again.”

“I-I’m sorry,” the girl said.

“If I catch you slacking off, or bothering another trainee again, I’ll kick you out of here myself, Maurelle,” Alvara said finally, “I promise it won’t be pleasant.”

The short girl, Maurelle, nodded repeatedly. Alvara finally stepped back and looked at Reeve, who mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her. She nodded in reply, then ordered all of us to keep training, and went back to monitoring our moves. We kept going on for hours, until a troubled-looking Takami walked in and took Alvara to the side to quietly talk to her about something. She looked distressed too, when they turned around to us.

“The lesson today ends here,” she said. “If you want to train on your own, you’re welcome to do so, otherwise, you’re dismissed.”

Without any more words, they walked out of the room and left us there. None of the trainees seemed to care, and no one looked interested in training more than necessary.

I noticed Arion walking to Reeve, and from the apologetic look, I knew he was probably saying sorry for Maurelle’s behavior, even though it was none of his fault. I unconsciously got closer to them, curious to eavesdrop.

“We should eat something together,” Arion proposed.

I looked at the clock on the wall and noticed that it was, indeed, lunch time. My stomach growled in response to my discovery, as additional confirmation.

“Ambrose, are you with us?” Arion asked

“No.”

I turned around to see Ambrose glare at Arion and Reeve, almost as if he was offended to be invited to eat with them, then he walked out of the room, slamming the door.

“Faye?”

“Hm?” I asked, turning my attention back to my brother.

“Would you join us for lunch?”

I was conflicted. I _needed_ to know at least something about the people around me, especially the ones closest to me — in this case, my classmates— and I _wanted_ to meet people, but at the same time I didn’t. What if I became friends with someone that I had to hurt later? What if I accidentally revealed something about myself?

But it was just one lunch… it wouldn’t hurt, would it? Only this once.

“Sure,” I gave in.

Arion, Reeve and I walked out of the training room. Reeve politely introduced themselves and offered me a their hand to shake. I introduced myself back and shook their hands, smiling. There was something kind about their face, that made them look like a golden retriever puppy. Their accent was the same as Arion, which probably meant they were born and brought up in the capital as well.

“I liked your fight yesterday,” Reeve said, to both of us. Then, they turned to me. “I like your playful personality, but be careful when you push Alvara. She doesn’t tolerate that type of behavior, and she can be quite hard if she wants to.”

“You know her well?” I asked.

“I trained with her in the past, during other occasions,” they replied, shrugging, “I can’t say we’re close friends but we talked a lot.”

Arion was strangely quiet, walking with us and listening to our conversation. I wondered if he was lost in his own thoughts, or if he was studying us both. My guts told me it was the latter.

Arrived in the great hall, we sat down and started putting foods on our plates. More people walked in and it made me realize that other groups were dismissed for lunch as well. But they probably had a lunch break, unlike us. If Takami didn’t came to get Alvara, we would have probably trained till night like the previous day.

Other people sat around us and started eating. I recognized some faces from our training class. A thought came to mind and I turned to Arion. “You look like you probably know everyone,” I said. One of his brows lifted in curiosity. “Can you tell me some names of the people who train with us?”

He looked around, trying to find someone he knew.

“That one is Dain,” he said, pointing at a plain looking guy with brown hair, who was eating alone at the table next to ours.

“That’s Maurelle, as you probably already know.”

He chuckled when he saw my eyes roll.

“That’s Cora, and the guy next to her is Jason” He pointed at the couple, eating and chatting at the end of our table.

“Her… I don’t know.”

He was pointing at a golden skinned girl with long black hair. She was carefully seated far from everyone else and she looked content to be alone.

“Asherah,” Reeve mumbled.

We both turned to look at them.

“Her name is Asherah,” they said, looking slightly embarrassed.

“You know her?” I asked, curious.

“No, I… I just know her name.”

Arion and I exchanged a knowing look. The pink on Reeve’s cheek explained it all.

More people came into the hall and the chatter grew louder. All three of us seemed to enjoy eating in silence, but we still exchanged small talks from time to time, probably to not seem rude for not speaking.

When we weren’t talking, my mind traveled to the thousands of thought that never left me in peace. I forced myself to focus on only one, and I was reminded of the gardens. Lady Odiane told me that the royal garden was created for my mother. She used to spend most of her days there before… well, before her whole life was destroyed by the King. I wanted to see the garden and try to guess what she liked about it, what her favorite flowers were and what her favorite spot might have been. I wanted to see if I would feel closer to her. I missed her so much, and I never even met her.

“Are we allowed to walk in the gardens?” I asked, suddenly.

Reeve seemed unaffected by my question, but Arion frowned.

“My father doesn’t like people roaming around the palace or the gardens,” he said, his lips slightly turned downwards. “The royal garden, especially, is off limits for everyone. He himself never goes in there.”

Maybe he didn’t want to see something that reminded him of the woman he used and betrayed. No… he was monster. I doubled he was even able to feel something close to guilt or regret. He was just an arrogant and selfish monster.

If the royal garden was closed, I guessed I had to find a way to sneak in. The thought didn’t bother me. I was used to sneaking around. After lunch, I said goodbye to Reeve and Arion, and excused myself to my room, lying that I wanted to rest. I spent the afternoon locked in my room, thinking —and overthinking— about my plans and current situation. I needed to find allies. I needed to find the guy Odiane told me about. I needed to find a way to learn more about my spark. Despite spending hours on those thoughts, it all seemed wasted time. I couldn’t think clearly.

I waited for dinner time, when the sun was setting and everyone was either going back to their room or eating in the great hall. I walked to the windows and threw them open. On the side of the balcony there was a huge tree, and the branches were close enough for me to climb on them. I checked one more time that no one was around, and I stepped over the railing and jumped on the branch, then climbed down the tree. As soon I stepped down on the ground, I willed my body to change. My legs shortened, and the weight of my clothes disappeared, replaced by soft fur. It wasn’t uncommon to find wild animals arounds here, and I was less likely to draw attention or look suspicious as a fox.

It took a few moments to get used to my lower vision and the way my body felt, since I hadn’t been in my animal form in a very long time. A wave of excitement washed over me and I started running around. When I collected myself, I began to walk toward the gardens, following the strong scent of flowers.

I had to admit that the common gardens looked rather plain and unkept. The color of the plants was dull and many flowers were withered. From time to time there were open holes in the terrain, and the smell coming from them told me they wererabbit holes. I wasn’t expecting to see _this_ , especially after all the stories I heard about the palace’s gardens. Everyone in the continent talks about them as if they were the gardens of the Gods. My nose twitched in disappointment.

I was so busy judging the garden around me, that I almost walked into the high fence in front of me. I wiggled my way between the intricate design of the bars, and passed to the other side. I held my breath in surprise. The sight in front of me was completely different.

On my left there were rows and rows of flowers in different colors and sizes. A few pots of hibiscus were laying next to some gardening tools, ready for the gardeners that were to plant them in the soil the following day. On my right there was a four feet tall maze. I couldn’t see how big it was, but it looked like it stretched for long. I walked along the path between the two, along the side of the maze, and stepped closer to the flowers from time to time, to sniff and catalog their smells in my mind. I suddenly felt ashamed of never being interested in gardening. It would have been nice to know what flowers I was admiring.

After a couple minutes I arrived at the center of the royal garden. There were big trees with benches under them, and a huge weeping willow was standing right next to a pond, where lilies floated on the surface. I peeked inside the pond and saw many different spices of fishes swimming around peacefully. I put a paw in the water and watched them flee. The act made me giggle.

I turned around in my spot over and over again, trying to take in every detail of the garden. The King never came here, but it seemed he made sure that it was kept well. There wasn’t a weed out of place, or a flower that didn’t look flawless.

I walked to the weeping willow tree and laid under its branches, admiring the sigh from there. Lady Odiane told me that my mother loved reading, and a part of me knew that this was where she stayed when she came here. Despite the benches around the garden, I _knew_ , deep inside, that she probably just sat here on the grass in front of the water to read. Maybe she even used to stay here, by this tree.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine her, laying on the grass, with a smile on her face. It was hard to do, not knowing what she looked like, but I tried to imagine her like Odiane often described her. The fact that we looked a lot alike made it a bit easier, I think.

Hours passed and I didn’t even realize that the sun had completely set and the moon was shining in the sky. Reluctantly, I got up and slowly walked out of the garden. Before I passed thought the bars, I looked behind me one last time and I tried to keep as much of it in my mind as I could. I would come back, I was sure of it, but leaving made my heart ache.

I went back to the wing of the palace where my room was, and turned back into my Fae form once I was is front of the tree. I climbed on it and jumped back on my balcony. With a weird sadness in my heart, I stepped into the room and closed the windows behind me.

I turned around, and froze on the spot.

In front of me, in the middle of the room, stood Takami.


	5. chapter four

A thousand thoughts and questions flowed in my mind, but I forced my body notto show how tense and taken back I was. The only sources of light in the room were the cracking fire on my right, and the light of the moon coming from the windows at my back. Maybe it was dark enough for him not to notice anything suspicious.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

 _Please don’t ask what I was doing_ , I prayed in my head. He looked at the window behind me, then his eyes were back on me. His stare was completely blank, and didn’t betray any kind of emotion.

“What are you doing in my room?” I asked again, letting irritation show in my voice. Maybe if I argued about the violation of my privacy, he would forget I just climbed up on the balcony. I had every right to be angry about that, after all. I knew I locked the door before going out, so if he was there, it meant he literally broke into my room.

“You need to be more careful if you don’t want to be caught,” Tamaki said, calmly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied. “I was on the balcony admiring the view.”

He tilted his head slightly and one of his brows rose. He looked almost surprised that I was trying— so obviously and badly— to lie to his face. “I wasn’t talking about your night stroll.”

He looked so calm and casual, as if the situation we were in wasn’t weird or compromising for both of us. I felt my fears running freely in my head and I hoped my body wasn’t showing signs of it. He wasn’t wearing any type of fighting or formal clothes, which maybe was a good sign. Or maybe it was just a way to make me drop my guard faster.

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, irritated. “Why is general Saito in my room at this time of the night? Am I to be punished for something?”

He frowned slightly, as if confused about my reaction.

“Did Lady Odiane not tell you about me?” he asked.

I felt my eyes widen slightly and I cursed myself in my head for showing a reaction. Was he really the guy Odiane told me about? What if it was a trap? He was someone the King trusted enough to make him general, to train his sons. What if the King knew something and was paranoid, thus making all his trusted ones put on a show to catch traitors? I couldn’t risk it.

“Who’s Lady Odiane?” I asked, faking ignorance.

He sighed and nodded to himself.

“I take it she didn’t.”

“Are you going to reply to my questions or not?” I demanded. “What are you doing here?”

He stared at me so deeply and for so long that I thought he somehow froze right there. When he finally tore his gaze away, I released the breath I didn’t realize I washolding. My chest felt heavy with a calm, lethal kind of panic. I clenched my fists to stop my hands from shaking.

“You have a lot to learn, but at least you didn’t give in right away,” he said, more to himself than to me. The calm with which he was studying me was making me go insane.

“I’m here to help,” he said, finally.

“Help who?” _With what?_ , I wanted to ask.

“Help you.”

I lifted my brow in a silent question. He pointed to the couch and said, “sit”. I didn’t reply as I did as he ordered. I mostly did it because I feared my legs would give out sooner or later. He walked closer to the couch, but he didn’t sit.

“Lady Odiane asked me to help you and guide you while you’re here,” he explained. “I apologize for the time, but I couldn’t come to you sooner.”

I was opening my mouth to again deny that I knew what he was talking about, but he lifted a hand to stop me. He took a letter out of the pocked of his breeches andsilently handed it to me. It was a bit wrinkled but still looked recent. I opened it, and tried not to show any emotion as I read it.

_Lady Anka,_

_It is almost time for the little dove to go back home. I did my best to show her how to fly on her own, but I will need your son’s help to teach her how to hunt and build._

_She’s the only hope we have to find retaliation. I hope you can hold onto your promise._

_Your friend,_

_Odiane._

I recognized the elegant handwriting and I knew the letter was real. At the bottom right corner of the paper, there was the secret symbol Odiane used as a way to confirm the correspondence was between trusted ones. A stylized dove with a single black feather falling from its side. She had never explained the meaning, but she once mentioned that the dove was an animal her family cared deeply about.

“I had to burn all the other letters, but I kept one as proof for you,” he said, his voice softer.

“She didn’t tell me a name, or anything else,” I replied, still looking at the letter. “I only knew I had to wait for the son of a friend of her.”

“It was safer this way.”

I put the letter next to me on the couch and leaned my head on the backrest.

“So, you’re here to be my baby sitter?” I asked, glancing up at him.

To my surprise, the side of his mouth slowly titled upward.

“I’m only here to help you,” he responded. “You’re the one in charge, princess.”

I stiffened. “Don’t call me that.”

“It’s your title,” he replied, serious.

I was, indeed, a princess, but being called that was weird. The few times Odiane referred to me using a title, she always used ‘queen’. She made me get so used to thinking of me as the queen, that any place in between felt foreign. Takami seemed to understand, and didn’t ask any question about it.

“Odiane asked me to find you allies. I couldn’t gather too many people, but I found a few that could be useful to you,” he said. I sat straight, suddenly nervous again. “I made the proper research and made sure they were all trustworthy. I took the liberty to make them come to the capital.”

A small part of me was glad he did the job of finding people for me, but another part of me was upset. I was supposed to do things on my own, like I was used to, and I was supposed to be able to take care of my plans without anyone’s help. A queen didn’t let people do things for her. A queen chose her allies personally. Odiane knew I _needed_ to do this on my own, and despite that, she asked Takami to find people for me. Did she not think I would be able to do it?

Takami seemed to read the battle going on behind my eyes. “I’m sorry if I crossed a line.”

I looked away, suppressing my anger. “Did you tell them everything?”

“No, they don’t anything about you, or about your existence. I chose them because they all had personal hatred and reasons for wanting to bring down the King. I told them there would be someone who would guide them and let them have the revenge they wanted, and they all accepted to offer their help. There were many people to choose from, but I managed to find the most skilled for your cause.”

“I’m not at all surprised to know there are many people who want the King dead,” I replied, bitterness coating my tone.

“There are many wrongs he needs to pay for.”

There was an edge to his voice that made me look at him more carefully. He was good at not showing emotions— probably trained for it— but his features looked sharper, his jaw slightly clenched. He, too, had suffered because of my father. Anger overcame me and I felt the sparkle tickle under my skin. I clenched my fists tighter, digging my nails in my palms, focusing on that pain to calm myself down.

“There is one of them that knows about you,” he said, after a while.

My voice was hoarse. “Who?”

“Prince Arion.”

I didn’t think it would have been possible for me to be even more tense than I already was, but I found out I was wrong.

“What does he know?”

“He knows that you’re siblings, and that you’re Orla’s daughter.”

Arion knew. That would explain why he seemed so curious about me. But, why was he on our side?

“You want me to believe that one of the King’s sons is going to help me?” I asked. I was surprised, suspicious, scared, upset… too many emotions were taking a place in my chest.

“Your mother had a few close friends. Odiane, my mother and Arion’s mother were some of them. They were all there when Odiane ran away with you,” Takami explained. “None of them knew what was going on with your mother and the King. When they got married they all thought they loved each other, and no one realized that the King was acting weird. Then, your mother disappeared into thin air and no one seemed to notice. They were worried and scared, especially since the King wouldn’t accept an audience with them. They spent months searching for her. Even after the King declared her dead to the public, they still didn’t give up on her. After years they finally found her in the tower. They tried to break the spells that kept her locked up in there, but they couldn’t find a way. No one could enter the tower but the people and servants the King personally appointed. Not able to free her, they did everything they could to make her life in there less miserable. They smuggled in things, exchanged letters, gave her potions and spells to keep her conscious as much as it was possible, to break the King’s spells enough for her to remember who she was. They didn’t always work, but it was enough to keep her going for all those centuries.”

Tears burned in my eyes, but I held them back with all the strength I could find in my body.

“My mother knew there would come a day when we would be able to make the King pay for what he did to the queen, so she sent me off to the army and told me to train, to become the strongest, so that the King would trust me. He made me promise to help in whatever way I could, when the time came.” His eyes softened, then added, “and when you were born, she made me swear to help you and protect you with my life.”

My heart clenched at the thought. “If you were forced into this, I won’t hold you to it. You don’t have to—“

“I wasn’t forced,” he cut me off, firmly. “I want the King to pay for everything he did, and you’re our only hope to succeed. I am ready to do anything for this, and for you.”

I could feel the sincerity and loyalty in every single word he said. I nodded, not trusting my voice in that moment.

“Take a few days to get used to the place and the people,” he said. “I’ll give you a list with the names of the people I chose and you can decide if you think they’re the right people or not. If you want to find someone else, I will help you with it, and when you’re ready, we’ll meet them and tell them the plan.”

“Obviously I can’t talk to you in public, so how do I find you when I need you?” I asked.

“I’ll come by every night to report to you,” he explained. “You can ask me anything then.”

I nodded. I felt too exhausted to reply. He looked torn between saying something and keeping quiet, but when he noticed I was looking at him, waiting, he decided to speak.

“You’re not used to being between people,” he said, and even if it was supposed to be a simple fact, it hurt to hear someone else tell me how lonely I had always been. “You’re good enough at controlling your expressions and emotions that most of the people around you don’t notice anything, but for trained people, or those who will look for a reaction, you’re an open book most of the time. You need to work on it.”

His tone was both stern and soft. I wondered how he did it.

“I know it will be difficult for you, because your emotions are exactly what pushed you to come here and work for your revenge, but you need to learn to separate yourself from your feelings.”

I wanted to reply with a hash comment. Every cell of my body wanted to say something mean, to attack because I felt naked, exposed. My nails found again their places in my palms.

“I’ll work on it,” I said, eventually.

He nodded and made to the door, but stopped after a step. He turned to look at me again.

“Where did you go tonight?” He asked.

The anger and shame left their place to the familiar sadness. The imagine of the royal garden flashed before my eyes.

“I wanted to see the royal garden,” I confessed in a whisper. There was understanding in his eyes, but I had to look away before I started tearing up again.

“Rest, tomorrow’s training will be tough.”

Without waiting for a reply, he walked out of my room. I felt calm, but my heart was beating so fast that I felt it beat in my ears. I pulled my legs close to my body and wrapped my arms around them, putting my head on the backrest of the couch. As I stared at the floor in font of me, the tears silently slid down my eyes. My heart never slowed down, but somewhere between the tears, the exhaustion made me fall asleep.


End file.
